Nowoodian

A peterless servant or slave that posed no threat to the master's wife. How could they? They had no winkies. Urination was at best a dribble. The downside to a worker having no gigglestick was they tend to build towers extremely too high. On a positive note, they never left the toilet seat up.

The master always let Chipper serve his wife breakfast in bed, due to the fact that Chipper was a Nowoodian. Poor guy.

72👍 5👎

Ralston

1. To be squirrelly;

2. Someone with the nickname Squirrel;

1. Calm down. Don't be so Ralston.
2. Where's Squirrel? I can't find Ralston anywhere.

87👍 27👎

Lung Butter Laugh

The disturbingly nasty sound that comes from a smoker's lungs when they laugh hard. It often sounds like paper shredding or a pipe suddenly being unclogged. It is most commonly heard in smokers over the age of 40. A typical flem soaked smoker's cough usually follows.

Kelly: "Where did Aunt Debra go?"
Kim: "I think she went outside to smoke."
Kelly: "Why does she eat healthy and drink green tea while smoking two packs a day? She even has the lung butter laugh."

93👍 16👎

Dirty Skillog Nuts

To be totally and completely ripped off. To be so royally cheated you feel sick. Like seeing a girl's photo on a dating site, hitting it off with her on the phone, then you meet her in person at a bar and see her coming out of the men's room with the nicest adam's apple you've ever seen.

Doctor: "I'm sorry sir, there was a problem with your kidney transplant."
Richard: "What happened?"
Doctor: "We thought a gumball machine would work as good as an actual kidney... we were wrong. You only have about twenty minutes to live."
Richard: "C'mon man, that's dirty skillog nuts!"
Doctor: "Yes... yes it is."

80👍 7👎

Pascola

Pascola is a podunk town in the bootheel of Missouri. Both population signs are on the same stick. The dogs outnumber the people. Pascola is a pimple on the butt cheeks of America. If you have the unfortunate opportunity to travel through this town, don't blink... you'll miss it.

If you live in Pascola and are not into inbreeding, you are in the minority.

80👍 10👎

Roy D. Mercer

A prank phone call character created by two Tulsa, Oklahoma morning DJs. Roy's gimmick mostly consisted of getting his victims mad enough to fight by telling them a story about how they owe him money. After tormenting the person, he would let them off the hook. They have at least a dozen CDs available. Then caller ID and star 69 ruined the fun for all of us.

My name is Roy D. Mercer. You sold my wife Sharon Jean a pager that blew up right on her butt. I'm coming down to get $300 from you today for medical billls and a new pager or I'm whoopin' your ass. How big a boy are ya?

95👍 6👎

Skwutter Butt Nosh

What a drunk says when trying to pronounce butternut squash.

Chipper: "Hey, get me another bottle of vodka and some of that skwutter butt nosh."
Sherri: "What? Oh, you mean butternut squash. Okay, but no more booze."

74👍 5👎