Update Parade

1. The numerous load screens which pop-up as soon as one attempts to use a new piece of technology. They proceed to forcibly install themselves, leaving the user helpless and afraid. Leads to hopefully watching computer screens for just one more percentage point on the load bar.

Person 1: Dude! I just got a new iPod!

Person 2: Don't get too excited, you'll be waiting all day on the update parade.

Self-frisk

1. The process men go through every morning to check their pockets for everything they need for the day (wallet, cell phone, keys, etc.).

2. The act of frantically patting oneself down in order to locate a missing crucial item which should be in one's pockets (ticket stubs, receipts, keys, etc.).

Person 1: So when I finally got the check I discovered that I didn't even have my wallet!

Person 2: Why didn't you do a self-frisk this morning to make sure you had it?

Person A: Your ticket stub, sir?

Person B: *self-frisks* I have two quarters here...and my receipt from lunch...and here it is. *hands over*