Random
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Random
Shaking your smart watch or phone to mimic movement so you donât actually need to move
I didnât close my rings today so Iâll just sit here air jerking while I finish my Cheetos
The process of grabbing the tip of your mask and moving around your face
I was speaking with this salesman but it was hard to concentrate because he would maskurbate while answering my questions.
something that are going to accomplish during the next pandemic shutdown
My desktop is just loaded with files. That will be a good pandemic resolution, I will be sure to clean them up during when I'm trapped at home for 3 months again.
When you need a sick day so you purposely fail your symptom checker and call out as suspected Covid contact
I didnât sleep well last night so I think Iâll purposely fail my symptom checker and just take a Covid day
the male sexual disorder often characterized by the inability to ejaculate due to the excessive consumption of Dogfish Head beer, thereby exhausting your wife, girlfriend, mistress, life partner such that she has to tap out and finish you off in the morning.
After an evening at the Turtle with the "Wild Hogs", Mr. Marino returned home to seduce his wife by massaging her back only for her to later discover that he had Dogfish Dick.
14👍 1👎
-a way to notify others of your long term leg pain when both parties are tired of saying and hearing "my leg hurts"
Once again I awoke from a yet another restless slumber to find that still ma'legurtz.
3👍 2👎
A picture taken of yourself at a funeral, preferably next to the deceased, that is planned to be shared via social media. The deadlie snapper recapture an audience that really doesn't care about them. It is the ultimate selfie
I snapped a selfie with Joan Rivers once however I only wish I had the chance to get a deadlie with her at her funeral.