Manaconda

What a real man packs in his shorts. A penis of at least 9 inches in length that strikes fear in the eyes of baby harp seals.

My date slipped me roofies and fucked me with his manaconda, I will never walk normally again

22👍 40👎

Legally Blonde

a movie starring a blonde girl who's got the body, president of her sorority delta nu, 2000's home coming queen, gemini vegetarian and has a dog named bruiser, ... and oh, two weeks ago she saw cameron diaz at freddy seagul and she talk her out of buying this truly heinous and gorous sweater, whoever said that orange was the new pink, was seroiusly disturbed.

"oh, hi, my name is elle woods, and from my admissions essay, i'm gonna tell all of you at harvard, why i'm gonna make an amazing lawyer."

458👍 248👎