bog salmon

A poo that refuses to flush away. ie it swims against the tide to its natural birthplace

God, you'd think Anne would know better. I went into the toilet immediately after her only to be greeted by her bog salmon.

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high diver

A turd deposited into the toilet bowl at such a high speed that it causes spashback directly onto the spectating testicles Cured by the use of a fireman's blanket

Sorry will be out in a minute love, just drying myself after my high diver

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