Groombus

A girl named Elizabeth.

(To Elizabeth): I don't know that! Your opinions matter, regardless, ya groombus!

Fruity pebbles

When you spend 12 days and 8 nights consuming nothing but spaghetti bolognese and every attainable flavor of Gatorade or Powerade and then ejaculate on your partner’s stomach so that it appears colorful and misshapen. You can also choose to pour milk over it all when you’re done, but most people don’t keep cartons of milk that close to their bedroom or fuckroom unless they’re a loser or a simp.

Bertha: “Baby, can we just do something casual for breakfast tomorrow?”
Charles: “Sure babe! What cereal should I grab from the Food Lion?”
Bertha: “Oh! How about Fruity Pebbles? I haven’t had that in forever!”
Charles: “Oh...that...it’s been so long since anyone has asked me for that. Are you sure, my darling, my morning star?”
Bertha: “Uh, yeah, that is what I want.”
Charles: “Give me 2 weeks to prepare.”
Bertha: “Ok.”
Charles: “Ok. Go back to sleep.”

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