Detroit

1.A city that a bunch of people talk and complain about but without ever stepping inside the city limits or even coming within 50 miles of its border. These people are known as "Smart" and "Still breathing" and are often scorned upon by Detroit citizens for their devilish good looks and lack of bullets lodged in their spine.

2.Contrary to popular belief, there are nice parts. The road out of there for instance.

3.Where everyone who's from Michigan says they're from when somebody asks them where they live. The lack of stab wounds and teenage wife however is a dead giveaway.

4.Best water in the world. A great comfort for kids there when they get lung cancer at age 6.

1. Hey, I haven't been to Detroit, let along Michigan, but since I like, you know, not bleeding for 12 or so gunshot wounds, I think that won't change.

2.Rosedale Park, University District, etc...all great living areas. Bring your own barbed wire and gun towers though.

3.Random Person 1: Where are you from?
'Detroiter': Westland
Random Person 1: Where?
'Detroiter': Detroit...
Random Person 1: Liar. You're 13 and not pregnent yet!

4.Have you ever had Detroit water? Really, take off that oxygen mask and try some, son!

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Slut Candy

The morning-after pill.

"9 out of 10 unfaithful whores choose slut candy!"

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