Headline Speak

Speaking with extreme brevity, in the way of a news headline. A natural shift in language for the Gen Y gang who thrives on Tweets, Emot-icons, and Vanity Plates.

Instead of saying, "It has been discovered that Captain John Smith engaged in sexual relations with a Native Indian woman known as Pocahontas", I used my Headline Speak and said, "Captain Boned a Native".

Gent's Throwdown

When two gentlemen engage in a battle of courtesy, such as when both arrive at a 4-way stop sign at the same time. Each waves the other on until one gives in. Can happen when holding doors too.

Driver: Shit.
Passenger: What?
Driver: I lost the Gent's Throwdown at the 4-way. Dude wore we down with his wave ons.

Fast Lane Cork

When someone is clogging up the fast lane by going less than 20 mph over the limit. Typically, it's either a clueless geezer or someone engrossed in a dazzling cell phone discussion unaware of the constipation-like backup behind them. When the cork finally pops and the back up starts flowing, so do the middle fingers.

A freaking Fast Lane Cork made me late for work today.

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Southpaw Shake

When a handshake is offered but your right hand is busy - such as while holding two beers or perhaps you're wearing a cast. Your only option is to shake with your left. If handled correctly, it comes off more as a low-five instead of an awkward hand-holding moment between two dudes.

When I turned, Dave had his hand out for a shake. He didn't see me holding my niece's hand, so I gave him a Southpaw Shake with my free one. No gayness.