Random
Source Code
Random
The act of getting so drunk that you pass out with your shoes still on. Upon arising in the morning with a wicked case of cottonmouth you can't figure out why your boots are still with you under the covers. The only logical explaination is that the "shoebuddies" dropped by and put them back on while you were sleeping it off.
Bart got into it again last night and the shoebuddies paid him a visit. Yuuuupppp!
107๐ 19๐
Free swag you get from your church on Sunday.
Hey Lucy, check out the free St. Johnรขยยs coffee mugs. Thatรขยยs some sweet church merch!
The art of male masturbation once you mature enough to realize its cheaper to keep her and you resort to a regular schedule of buffing the chimp instead of chasing strange tail .
Lou took a half a day again today, I bet he's home buffing the chimp.
Having sex with you wife in your sons bed because you know in 15 more years he's going to be doing the same to you.
My son was sleeping over grandpa's house the other night so me and the old lady decided to "pay it forward".
35๐ 178๐
Three months after your wife gives birth and begins to loose that baby belly she goes out and buys a new dress. When she asks you how she looks your response is " you lost some of that baby belly but your not ready for that dress yet! " immediately you realize that you will be living a life of celibacy for the next three months.
Brian's old lady bought a new dress the other day and he pulled a hornbeek when she asked him how it looked. Looks like he will be waxing his own pole for the next couple months , poor bastard.
When sir reverse cowgirl on you your toilet and use the tank as a table to eat your morning cereal while taking a shit.
In order to maximize my time in the morning I eat my cereal on the back of the toilet while I drop my morning deuce. I call it The Swilly G!
There is no such thing as too much alcohol!
Brian said he had too much alcohol last night, pussy! There is no such thing!
10๐ 7๐