spidezilla

The type of spider that crawls over you covers at night and sits there dormant until you wake up. It gets so close to your face it looks almost identical to the spider from Harry Potter.

Person 1 : oi bro wake up but don’t move a muscle

Person 2 : what bro

Person 1 : there’s a fucking spidezilla about to chomp ur shit

Shredder

A man so bald it looks like someone has shredded his head with a law mower. Then finished it with danish oil and wax

Person 1: that guy Freddie is such a shredder

Person 2: Davies is a real shredder though.