If you'll pardon the pun

Something to say after you've said literally anything, unless what you've just said actually contained a pun.

Made popular by the wonderful Moses Beacon, from the excellent comedy 'Come Fly With Me'.

Moses: My name is Moses Beacon, if you'll pardon the pun!

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Book off

When talking to someone on the bus, you say something inappropriate and they lose interest in the conversation.

They then proceed to get a book out and read it, leaving you thoroughly ignored.

Met this girl on the bus today, totally made me book off.

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Drum and Bus

The tinny music that emits from a chav's phone on the back of any bus.
Usually accompanied with cans of cheap lager, plastic bottles of cider and mention of the word 'donk' several times.

Person 1: Going to the dubstep rave tonight?
Person 2: Why bother, we've got all the drum and bus right here.

Chav's phone: 'Put a donk on it!'

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