Colchester

A city in Essex which is bursting with disappointment, dissatisfaction and anything else you can think of starting with “D”

“Hey, I was thinking.. do you wanna pop into Colchester this evening. Grab a pint and that”
“No, go fuck yourself”

Florida

The arsehole of America

“We’re taking you two on holiday”
“Oooooh where to daddy??”
“Florida”
“Drop us round Grandma’s and go by yourself you fat cunt”
“But… what about Mickey Mouse??”

Jaywick

The arsehole of the world.

“Where do you live”
“Jaywick”
“You poor thing”