Carpet Wiper

Wiping your rusty sheriff's badge like a maniac after a nice solid bowel movement. Instead of using small strokes to ensure a clean behind, a carpet wiper makes multiple aggressive passes with the same TP. It makes a similar sound to cleaning a carpet stain.

This guy at the office makes me uncomfy when I hear him wipe. He's a carpet wiper for sure & I'm concerned about the status of his balloon knot.