Bumjum

Bumjum (noun): /ˈbʌm·dʒʌm/

A bumjum is a rare and rowdy breed of gnome, famed for their extremely pointy hats, which are sharp enough to double as emergency kebab skewers. Bumjums are notorious for their chaotic lifestyles, often culminating in their inexplicable appearance in nightclub bathrooms, where they can be found drunkenly attempting to barter bottle caps for drinks or aggressively debating the proper way to pronounce “gnocchi.”

Though small in stature, bumjums possess an unmatched ability to disrupt any social gathering by spontaneously starting a conga line or challenging larger creatures to arm-wrestling contests. Their hats, which they insist are “fashionable weapons,” have led to many an unfortunate incident involving popped balloons or accidental curtain impalements.

Despite their wild antics, bumjums are surprisingly endearing. They can often be heard serenading a urinal with sea shanties or hosting impromptu therapy sessions in bathroom stalls, offering sage advice like, “Life is just one big garden, mate—sometimes you’re the gnome, sometimes you’re the flamingo.”

“I went to use the club bathroom, and there was a bumjum in there offering unsolicited advice on my love life—it was oddly insightful.”