Oakland

A wonderful city on the east shore of San Francisco Bay. It is known for its fine weather, Lake Merritt, its beautiful hills, and its sideshows.

Oakland is my home town. It is also home to 10,000 sideshow clowns.

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automatic

An automotive transmission created for people missing an arm or a leg.

An automotive transmission for people who do NOT know how to drive.

An automatic transmission is like training wheels on a bike. When you learn how to ride a bike, you lose the training wheels. When you learn how to drive a car, you take the automatic rental back and get a REAL car with a stick shift.

Damn, Hector, that kid Smedley had the nerve to drive over to take my daughter out in a car with an automatic transmission! Can you believe it? I chased his ass away and told him not to come back until he learns how to drive.

Don't blame you, Simon. Say, maybe your daughter can teach him how to drive a stick shift like a real man.

Great idea, Hector! She likes the kid but won't go out with a wimp to save her life!

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rch

A standard of measurement, the basis of the nano rch and the pico rch.

OK, Lem, we gotta move this mill just an RCH, so go easy with the hammer.

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road locomotive

An extremely large, poor-handling automobile with sloppy power steering and an automatic transmission, driven by a person who doesn't really know how to drive.

Road locomotives were common in the 1960s.

Maxine drove to Vegas in her road locomotive.

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issues

1. Topics for discussion or debate.

2. Euphemism for "problems" used by women and effeminate men. These people want to appear to be too polite to say
"problems," so they say "issues."

Joe: "I have issues."
Schmoe: "You have ISSUES?! What are you, some kind of girly man? Women have issues. Men have PROBLEMS."
Joe: "Oh, you're such an issuephobe!"

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cut the cheese

To fart.

Something that someone has done on the backside of the Wisconsin commemorative quarter.

Who cut the cheese on the back of that coin?

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camel jockey

An Arab. An A-Rab. A person from Saudi Arabia, Syria, Iraq, Egypt, Yemen, or Lybia.

Walking up and down the streets of Damascus, I saw several thousand camel jockeys.

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