Mickey Mouse patrol

Rent-a-cops, security that usually only have "guns" with rubber bullets, if that. They "patrol" schools, concerts, and sporting events, but if there's anything close to a fight, they're out of there like rats out of a sinking ship.

The phrase was coined in Nova Scotia, Canada by snowplow drivers and was originally used solely for pre-911 airport security.

"Did you see the Mickey Mouse patrol during the Code Blue today?"
"Yeah, I saw a few of them go out a window. Too bad it was on the second story."

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bag beetle

Pubic lice, little critters that dwell in the hair on your naughty parts. They can be spread through sexual intercourse, but you can also get them from toliet seats, bed sheets, or someone else's underwear. More commonly known as crabs.

Jimmy's been scratching at his pants all night. Five bucks says Joan gave him the bag beetles.

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