liberate

To kill, torture, and rule imperially.

Nationalist: I'm so glad we liberated those Iraqis!
Socialist: Yeah, the more people we liberate the fewer hate us.
Nationalist: Isn't it great how that works out?
Socailist: If I'm ever liberated, I'm going to come back from the dead and liberate you back for not getting my sarcasm.

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a christmas carol

A classic tale revealing the evils of captialism.

Charles Dickens wrote a lot of books promoting at least moderate socialism. Too bad no one listens, even though A Christmas Carol is probably the most famous child's Christmas story of all time.

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Stalin

Not the ideal person to represent communism, but moderately successful nonetheless.

Q: Why was Stalin so successful?

A: Because he was in-STALIN the five year plans.

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insurgent

Members of the radical Islam movement. As long as they are losing, they are allowed to be killed, beaten, arrested, convicted of war crimes, and called terrorists. But it's all okay in the eyes of most Americans (red-necks), because they're fighting against a great democratic revolution that changed their world for the better. (yeah right)

While the USSR was occupying Afghanistan in the 80s, Soviets said that rebels were counter-revolutionaries and insurgents, whereas the US called them freedom fighters. The freedom fighters were members of the same group as "insurgents" in Iraq today.

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Andropov

1. Yuri Andropov - Noun - General Secretary of the USSR for 15 months after the death of Brezhnev and before Chernenko. Also, the greatest person in history.

2. Andropovian - Adjective - A socialist follower of the greatest person in history.

3. Andropovian Party - Noun - Socialist political party from Orinda that worships the greatest lperson in history and follows his great example.

1. Andropov is higher than a god and should be worshipped as such.

2. Those Andropovians are awesome people and know how the world should be run.

3. The color of the Andropovian Pary is orange.

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collage

How people who will never get in spell college.

If you write an essay entitled "Why I Want To Go To Collage", you will be rejected immediately by the admissions board of most colleges outside of Alabama.

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Republican

Someone who has difficulty distinguishing between social and economic ideas. They tend to believe that by allowing "economic freedom" they are promoting democracy and liberty, and that the economic control hurts them greatly. At the same time, they are quick to eliminate freedom that really does affect people's well-being.

Republican: OMGWTFBBQ you Democrats are such fascists!
Democrat: Actually, fascists believe in a free economy and social control, which is the complete opposite of our beliefs and very similar to your Republican view.
Socialist: The USSR was not real communism. We are equated with fascists, but usually we believe in more social freedom than anyone except anarchists.

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