Ted Cruz

Verb. When you defecate liquid poo so hard into a seated toilet so hard, the resulting splash covers both of your cheeks and sullies the back of your shirt. The experience is extremely unpleasant and aptly named after a notoriously unpleasant US Senator from Texas.

Bro, after eating one and a half chipotle burritos and chasing them down with four shots of espresso, I Ted Cruzed my girlfriend's toilet and had to throw away my favorite button down shirt.

3👍 1👎