impauguration

When a new President of the United States is sworn in as the departing President is being impeached on the same day. Its usually celebrated with Lady Gaga singing the national anthem, J-Lo and 15,000 Members of the National Guard to preven a second Insurrection by Y’all Queda.

Are you attending the Impauguration?

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The Battle of Reedy Creek

The attempted flex by Ron DickSandwich, Governor of Florida and his Y’allagarchy in Tallahassee to remove the special land use permit enjoyed by Floridas’ most prolific land owner, Walt Disney World. The agreement dates back to the 1960’s and was left alone until Disney called out Ron DickSandwich about one of his fascist policies, known the world over as the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. Ron’s retaliation is seen as a thinly veiled playground bully move that will likely pave the way to him eventually selling timeshares or extended car warrantys over the phone as a career path.

The Battle of Reedy Creek is really heating up. I hear Disney is thinking of joining NATO!

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Chewbacca Bikini

The fashion choice of radicalized Right Wing Radicals who try to overthrow the seated government of The United States of America

Capitol Police: Sir, there is a man in a viking helmet and a Chewbacca Bikini trying to get on the floor of the House of Representatives. Should we let him in, or arrest him?
Mike Pence: Seriously?

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unfuckening

The first 100 days of the Biden Administration consisting of executive orders to get the USA back into the World Health Organization, PARIS Agreement and an actual Covid-19 Vaccination plan

What do you think the new name for Operation Warp Speed should be?
IDK, how about the unfuckening?

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Repubunists

A new breed of American right wing nationalists that support Putin and the Kremlin from their couch eating Twinkies in the air-conditioned comfort of their double wide while watching FOX News and planning a “Special Military Operation” in every American woman’s uterus.

Did you hear about Chad? Yeah, he’s one of those Repubunists now. I knew that would happen when he got sucked into the y’allagarchy

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DeSantifesto

The New Book by Ron DeSantis, current Neo-Fascist ruler of DeSantisistan (formerly Florida) celebrating his frequent battles with a Cartoon Mouse, gay people and books that mention slavery. His new book is basically like Mein Kampf, but with Twinkies and Airconditioning.

Did you secure your copy of the DeSantifesto?

Left Turn Olympics

Also known as the Daytona 500, NASCAR’s biggest day! Kind of cool to see, even if you're not a fan. Many go for the wrecks that you can experience without actually being in them. Food, beer and Merch are also a draw. People watching is as much fun as the race its self.

I went to the Left Turn Olympics to drink beer in the sun and see wrecks!