Karen

Karen
karen is seen as a lovable, generous, caring and overall good person. This is the illusion that karen creates.

Behind the illusion, she is a misguided, unfortunate creep. She's obese, tortures her kids, and still found a way to stay married to her husband. I swear he was either desperate or a lunatic. She spends her time gardening and crushing children's dreams. Sometimes, she wonders her purpose in the world, if she even has one. One of her favorite past times is cow tipping. If a guy asks for some fun, he should steer clear of Karen. Her laugh is like a dying cat being poisoned by a witch. She is unloved by her family, loved by her dead goldfish.

- Karen's soon to be ex husband

Bob: See the girl at the bar over there?
Larry: Who?
Bob: The girl with the dead goldfish.

Larry: I see her. She's such a Karen!

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Colton

Colton is a very unique species. He comes off as a funny, caring, and trusting guy. He is a somewhat talented musician, and he enjoys speeding in his tiny green truck to impress girls. He is also super handsome and very tall. He often says very dirty jokes and pick up lines, and flashes his dick to whoever wants to see it. He seems like a great boyfriend on the outside, but nobody knows about Colton’s true colors unless you’ve dated him. If you have done Colton dirty no matter how small, he will come back to haunt you. He will seek revenge to those who did him wrong. Even if it is his fault for something that went down, he will make an excuse to blame anyone but himself. No matter how long ago the incident happened, he will always find a way to come back into your life. He will make you fall for him so he can break your heart again. He will cheat and screw you over. He will make up stories to hurt you, because all he wants is the worst for those who only want the best for him. He will be the love of your life one minute, and the next he will call you crazy. Colton’s are not who you think they are. And no matter how much you try, you will always love him even though he hurt you many times. Colton’s are excellent liars, but don’t let him fool you. Colton deserves to rot alone for what he has done.

Melina: Oh my god, there’s my ex, Colton.
Sydney: Melina, get over him already. He is a compulsive liar, and you deserve better.
Melina: You’re right, but I still love him even though he hurt me many many times.