Auburn University

A desolate shithole university in east Alabama filled with pretentious assholes. The football team has never risen above mediocrity, but the stupid fans don’t know any better. You can hear some of them mumbling about “prettiest village on the plains”, but if you’ve ever been there, you’ll know that’s a lie. They are completely confused as to whether they are to be “Tigers” or “plainsmen” and their battle cry is “War Eagle” as apparently an Eagle flew over the place and took a shit, and the University president thought it tasted good enough to have a war over.

What sort of idiot would ever want to go to Auburn University? It’s a shithole.

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