Cashcrate.com

A wonderful website whose only request is that you give them all of your information and then they give you 75 cents

Jim: Yeah, I just made $1.50 on Cashcrate.com. All I had to do was give my social security number to various random websites! YIPPEE!!!

True Conservative

A weak definition of a conservative used by some overly-nationalist douche who has no idea what they're talking about and usually thinks that any American who existed in the 19th century was a conservative

Conservative: Robert E. Lee was a true conservative!
Guy: What are you on?
Conservative: All-American opium!
Guy: ...

12👍 8👎

ADHD

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: the disorder of choice for lazy children

Johnny (to his mom): I can't do my homework because I have ADHD!

(Mom leaves)

Jimmy: What is ADHD?

Johnny: ADHD, my friend, is the golden ticket.

9👍 80👎