Senor Cardgage (pronounced Snore Cardgage)

An older version of strong bad with a beer gut, a combover, a goatee, and a plastic grocery bag which could contain one of the following: Cold pizza, rotten vegtables, the shattered remains of his former life, or melty candy bars that he eats really noisily while standing to close to you in line.
He refers to men as women, and mumbles strange phrases. He runs a mortgage firm.

"Hi there Belindas"

"Hey, m'am, would you care for a slice of gum"

"Pardon me, m'am, could you help an old wintergreen gather his spectacles?"

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