The Host

A re-write of Twilight by a fat Mormon. Seriously, Bella and Wanderer are the exact same characters. Plus Jared (named after Stephenie's brother; creepy?) is another Edward copy. You know, with his gold-flecked eyes, incredible muscles and being the best little survivor in the world. Seriously, within several weeks he's the best forager that a creepy old man's (Jeb or Billy?) little cave has.

Wanda is yet another fail, being a pathetic little wimp that can't so much as punch a fly. Jared is awesome and protects her because his one true love lives inside her head or some shit.

Wanda: OMJ Jared, I love you even though I'm an alien! I also love some other guy identical to you, even though I'm just a space worm and this is another book based on love based on looks.

The Host is a sexylicious book, omg

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