alt-right troll

A very sad specimen indeed. Here is an overview of the alt-right troll:

Appearance - Usually an overweight neck bearded incel aged between 20 to 35 years old. If you don’t initially see them, you will surely smell their pungent body odor that is a result from their poor hygiene.

Habitat- Commonly found in their mother’s basement, where they sit in front of their computers for 14 hours a day, living off Mountain Dew.

Behavior- The alt-right troll’s sole purpose is to “own the libs.” In their sad attempts to do so, they typically go on YouTube and leave trolling comments on leftist/progressive YouTube channel videos. These comments can be anything from mocking the channel to spreading some false conspiracy theory. The purpose of these comments is to trigger viewers, who will fire back in the comment section. This is what the alt-right troll lives for. When they are not trying to “own the libs,” alt-right trolls commonly congregate with each other on 4chan, where they spread their crazy conspiracy theories, and take turns inhaling copium to deal with the loss of their daddy Trump.

Other things of note - If you are lucky enough (or unlucky enough, depending on how you want to put it), you may see an alt-right troll masturbate to pictures of Donald Trump. Alt-right trolls are also typically white supremacists and Nazi sympathizers, who believe that the Hitler and slavery weren’t that bad.

With their lord and savior Trump gone, alt-right trolls are struggling to stay afloat.

If you go to a leftist/progressive YouTube video and scroll all the way to the bottom of the comment section, you will likely see an alt-right troll attempting to trigger the viewers. Before you get mad, take a moment and think about how sad and pathetic alt-right trolls truly are. If you keep that in mind, they will never be able to trigger you.

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Milo Yiannopoulos

A British far-right grifter who lost all relevance after the end of the anti-SJW golden age.

Person 1: Milo Yiannopoulos was so good at owning SJWs back in 2016.

Person 2: Who’s Milo Yiannopoulos?

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Sky News Australia

A fake news station that spews out right wing propaganda so misleading that it’s almost laughable. They’re just as bad as Fox News, if not worse.

Guy 1: Where did you hear that information from?

Guy 2: Sky News Australia

Guy 1: *Laughs intensively*

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General Mark Milley

The act of shutting down a popular right wing talking point or narrative.

Named after General Mark Milley, who spoke out in favor of critical race theory amidst the conservative backlash over it.

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Trump Supporter

A person who still can’t see through Trump’s conman grift. Fortunately, you’ll probably be able to tell who they are based in how they look.

The variety of physical appearances among Trump supporters are uncannily limited, but they do vary on age and gender.

Young male Trump Supporter(age 20-35):

Almost always thin, with short hair and glasses. Looks like a nerd who was probably bullied frequently in school and pushed past their breaking point.

Middle Aged Trump Supporter(age 40-55):

Beer bellied, bald, and bearded. Often wearing sunglasses and can often be heard laughing or talking loudly, usually before being seen.

Older Male Trump supporter (age 55+):

Usually stocky or skinny, frequent wearers of hats and cargo shorts.

Young Female Trump Supporter (age 20-35):

Almost always blonde, looks and acts like a demented Barbie doll.

Middle-aged Female Trump Supporter (age 40-55):

Typically an uptight, Facebook-using, stay at home soccermom. Can be frequently found at school board meetings as well as requesting to speak to managers. Middle-aged female Trump supporters are probably the most diverse of all Trump supporter groups regarding physical appearances, but as with all female Trump supporters, they are often blonde.

Older Female Trump Supporter (age 55+):
Short, with blond or sometimes white (usually short) hair, has skin that is baked from years of sun exposure, and often wearing sunglasses.

So…why do Trump supporters all look the same? Lack of diversity in their isolated gene pools, which leads to more recessive genes and less available phenotypes.

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Foxitis

A disease caused by an excessive consumption of right wing media, such as Fox News.

Symptoms may include:

- Living in a constant state of fear.

- Always being outraged at something.

-Displaying bigoted feelings or actions toward minorities & LGBT people.

- A decrease in IQ, critical thinking, and cognitive ability.

- A sexual attraction toward guns, American flags, and large pickup trucks.

- Calling people or things that you don’t like “Marxist,” “socialist,” or “communist.”

-Faster aging.

-Hypernationalism.

- Psychosis.

- (in severe cases) Carrying out acts of physical violence.

There are several treatment options for Foxitis:

- Going cold turkey (disconnecting yourself from right wing media completely).

- Watching foreign media outlets for a broader perspective of the world.

- Find ways to challenge your beliefs.

Ways to Prevent Foxitis:

- Get an education.
- Take media literacy classes.
- Keep an open mind.
- Get out of your bubble and interact with more people.
- Register to vote as a Democrat :)

Foxitis can have very negative effects on the sufferer as well as their family. If you or a loved one is struggling with Foxitis, don’t wait any longer. Call 1-800 UnFox My Cable Box.

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Alphabet Group

Term used by bigots to refer to ye LBGT community.

Bigot: “Grrr, them alphabet group people are teaching our children to be gay!”

Any half-decent person: “Woah, stay away from this person.”

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