ricketson

(pronounced "rick it, son!")
v. 1. ) To rig or assemble for temporary emergency use; improvise, usually wth poor or even disastrous results. 2.) to jury-rig something with a shoddy substitute. 3.) exclamation to celebrate cheap jury-rigging.
n. a flimsy temporary fix.

Based on the work of spinal surgeon Dr. Robert Ricketson who lost his license to perform surgery after using a screwdriver in place of titanium rods on a patients neck.

"He broke his cell phone but used rolling papers to ricketson."
"Toss me that cactus. I need a jump so I'm gonna ricketson."
"I didn't study for my bar exam but fuck it. I'll just ricketson."
"I'm not taking cuts in line! That gum on the ground represents my placeholder. Ricketson!"
"We're out of dentures? Forget it. I'll ricketson. Give me those tictacs and some superglue. Now hold still, Mr. Landers..."

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raptor

rap•tor (rap-ter)
n.
1. A famous rapper who is angling his career towards performing as an untrained actor in movies. A rapper whose attempt at playing any role other than a thug would be laughable.
2. A music performer turned hack actor; usually relegated to playing some version of his or her music career persona.
3. Any hip hop artist who uses profits from album sales to pay dues to the Screen Actor's Guild. Much like the prehistoric raptor, this subspecies will one day be extinct.

"Fiddy's work as a raptor is almost as disappointing as his work in music."
"At this point in his career to consider Ludacris as anything more than a raptor would be... well... ludicrous."
"Beyonce's work on-screen as a raptor is cringe-worthy."
"The raptors are a pestilence that is slowly squeezing out our potential for finding the next Don Cheadle."

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Dock Ellis bitch

exclamation; used when having navigated a difficult situation while under the influence. (2) n. the event of being inebriated while functioning at something meant for people who are sober such as working or performing brain surgery.


Named for Dock Ellis, the Padres pitcher who took three tabs of LSD and accidentally pitched a no-hitter.

"High as hell AND I passed the bar exam. Dock Ellis, bitch!"
"I pulled a straight up Dock Ellis bitch at school today."
"Yeah, I'm drunk. And I'm calling you from the cockpit, homie! Dock Ellis bitch!"

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gay cockatoo

(1) A co-worker who repeatedly angles his/her head over your shoulder to see your screen. (2) A busybody or eavesdropper. (3) An uninvited person who shows signs of curiousity in your private life.

Derived from the machinations of the bird on the television show "Bareta" who sat on Robert Blake's shoulder, the term is also intended to be less obvious to the "g.c." himself when he is being referenced.

"I can't talk right now. I got gay cocktoos all around me."
"Quit reading over my shoulder, yo! You're like a gay cocktoo!"
"Hang on. I got a gay cockatoo."

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