Steamy Mitten

Giving your partner a handjob when you have chubby hands

My hands are so gross and fat, like I'm wearing boxing gloves

"Yeah but I bet you give a great steamy mitten"

Ripping puss

Queef.
The equivalent of Ripping Ass.
A fart from the vagina.

Man, I queefed so much last night, I couldn't stop ripping puss