Backwards Wank

The act of tucking ones penis between ones legs, to masturbate oneself from behind.

Steve "hey have you ever tucked your duck between your legs to walk from behind? Like a backwards wank?"
Dave "No..."
Steve "yeah me neither..."

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Glum Glum

The act of going down on a female after the male has ejaculated inside her vag.

Barry: "Have you ever tasted your own spunk?"
Trevor: "No, what?! Thats sick, why, have you?"
Barry: "Yeah."
Trevor: "Why? Thats wrong, and a bit gay!"
Barry: "It isn't gay, she made me do it!! She likes Glum Glum!"

Jam Piano

Fingering a wench when she's "on"

resulting in a mess on ones hands similar to that of playing a piano with jam on the keys.

Barry: "dude she so didnt tell me, and i totally ended up playing the Jam Piano!"