Bessie the cow

Bessie the cow was one of the biggest cows and animals to ever walk the earth. She was bigger than most mountains. She was so big that all of the dairy products today come from Bessie herself.

Bessie was married to Beefie the cow, who was also huge like her. All the meat products in the world come from Beefie. Eventually they had a child, and named him Befesie the cow. This cow, according to prophecy, will one day consume the universe, protecting all living creatures inside it.

Bessie, Beefie and Befesie are in fact the only real cows ever to live. All other cows are robots made by the government.

Many people still worship the great Bessie, Beefie and Befessie today.

Child: Mom, where does milk come from?

Mom: From Bessie the Cow of course!

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Beefie the Cow

Beefie the cow was the biggest cow and animal to ever walk the earth. He was bigger than most mountains. He was so big that all of the meat products today come from Beefie himself.

Beefie was married to Bessie the cow, who was almost as big as him. All the dairy products in the world come from Bessie. Eventually they had a child, and named him Befesie the cow. This cow, according to prophecy,will one day consume the universe, protecting all living creatures inside it.

Beefie, Bessie and Befesie are in fact the only real cows ever to live. All other cows are robots made by the government.

Many people still worship the great Beefie, Bessie and Befessie today.

Child: Mom, where does beef come from?
Mom: From Beefie the Cow of course!