Lazebooking

Lazebook (v.t.) - To consciously refuse to invest the effort necessary to create even mildly entertaining status updates on Facebook, instead clogging friends' news feeds with a string of re-shared links, annoying Farmville messages, recycled statuses through "Status Shuffle", and the occasional self-centered and dull update that is absolutely of no consequence, meaning or concern to the hapless captive audience.

I added Samantha because I thought she was hot, but online she's constantly lazebooking. I already hid her Farmville crap, and I think I'm gonna delete her if she keeps vaguebooking about who the hell even knows what issue she's got going on at the moment.

Squidward’s Window

n., butthole, anus. A reference to the round porthole through which Squidward often speaks, in episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants.

“I’m gonna squeegee Squidward’s Window with my tongue,” said the millennial
“In my day we just called that a rim-job,” grunted the boomer
“Do you want me to stop then?”
“God, no.”

fauxligarch

(n.) A leader with a false claim to power or authority, metaphorically akin to the “emperor with no clothes”.

Ever been tossed out of a Facebook group just because some fauxligarch admin went on a power trip? Since when do I have to memorize the smoked salmon Wikipedia entry just to stay in a shitpost group, damn. I think they just didn’t like me.