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When you go to fuck your girlfriend, who you have not fucked in a week , spread her legs and fresh cum oozes out to your horror.
Jimmy went to get laid by his girl after being in prison for a month, but to his shock when he went to fuck her he received a Cumsuprise .
When a guy cums on a girls asshole...sticks his cock in the hole "Halfway" one or two times...then shoves the cock in her mouth.
Billy : Where did you go last night?
Jimmy: "I met this stripper who was willing to do anything, I fucked her she blew me, and I finished her off with a "Seed and Feed"....she loved it...and so did I..."
Billy: "Disgusting"
Jimmy : "I know, but in a good way"
Kiesha gave LeRoy a good blowjob which included sucking on his big Black Eggs.
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A serious but temporary condition that occurs when your misfortune enough to lose, misplace or have your phone stolen...
It is rooted in the fear that someone will see whats on your phone...
Physical illness will occur if your phone is not locked...
***Symptoms include : paranoia, anxiety, irrational talking to yourself and lots of erratic searching ...
The condition is 100% curable when you either locate your phone or turn your phone off ...
Billy : Why is Johnny panicking and ripping everything out of his car?
Jimmy : Dude he has "Lost Phone Syndrome" he cant find his phone,do not approach him, you don't wanna know what kind of fucked up shit is downloaded on there..
Billy : Is his phone locked ?
Jimmy : Nope, he is totally fucked !!
The immediate and obsessive dread and fear, that takes over your "mind and body", when you realize you cannot find your phone.
Bob " Dude where the fuck is my phone, I just had it.."
Dude "You will find it, its here somewhere.."
Bob " No man , its lost..."
Dude " Relax man, and calm down, your just suffering from "Paraphonia"...you just had it 5 minutes ago and you never left this room.."
Bob "Sorry i was ready to freak out.....it was in my pocket"
A condition that occurs after giving to many blow jobs...
I had fun last night at the party, but I think I have cock neck.
Simple Redneck guidelines to live by...
Jeb- "What do you want to do today Zeb?"
Zeb "I don't know, we can either watch the grass grow or I guess we can do what we always do"
Jeb "Fart-Fish-Fuck it is..Ill get my pole ready"
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