Smear Campaign

(n) : the aftermath of wiping your butt after taking a super greasy dump. When you go to wipe, instead of actually cleaning the poop from your backside, the toilet paper just spreads the greasy dung around, prompting you to use hella toilet paper in order to do a proper wipe job.

"Man I think I need to stay away from the Bloomin' Onion and baby-back ribs combo at Outback. My shit was so greasy this morning; total Smear Campaign."

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Fart Hostage

(n) : a person who has the unfortunate fate of being in a confined space while someone passes gas. This can occur in a car, elevator, subway, or city bus, for example. The person(s) in that confined space became the flatulator's fart hostage(s) for the duration, until the fart haze dissipates.

"Man, Henry is not allowed to eat beef jerky on long car rides anymore. He was beefing nonstop, and held us fart hostages all the way to Kalamazoo!"