Brightonshire

The collective counties of West and East Sussex.

"I went down to Brightonshire the other day. Twas sunny like the windfart.

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Hedin

Sven Anders Hedin (1865-1952) was one of the great Swedish explorers. He was not the greatest, but was certainly one of them. Hedin was born in Stockholm and educated in both Sweden and Germany. Before he was 21 he started on his first exploration, of his back garden. He then travelled through Mesopotamia, part of which is now known as Iraq. Fascinating. In 1893 he began a 4 year journey across central Asia, looking for the lesser spotted Asian Zebra a friend had told him about. After four years his friend admitted he had lied. During a journey across the Pamir-La-Anderson Mountains his party found several ancient cities, called 'New York', 'Boston' and 'Disneyworld'. From 1927-35 he was in charge of the joint Chinese-Swedish expedition. They found China, but lost Sweden in the act. Which was a shame. I like Sweden. They invented Abba.

Person 1: 'Oh look! I found Jehol: City of Emperors by Sven Anders Hedin!'
Person 2: 'Well, he's an okay Swedish bloke, but I prefer Gustaf Dalen, who revolutionised lighthouse equipment and invented the Aga cooker.'

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wondabulous

A mixture between 'wonderful' and 'fabulous'. Used to make your miserable lives just a tad better.

'That steak was wondabulous!'
'Not nearly as wondabulous as the ketchup.'

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Crapanimation

Manga,anime or Japanimation drawn by lonely teenagers who think they are cool. They are not. The likeness to real Japanese cartoons varies, but is irrelevant once one realises an idiot could draw the characters.

'Is that crapanimation you're drawing, Phil?'
'No, it's Japanimation.'
'Tomayto, Tomarto'

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pube

A public house. Often used to get drunk in.

Kid:'I'm off to the pube.'
Parental Figure: 'With your little brother, of course.'
Kid: 'But he hates playing in the pube garden.'

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saving the world

A harmless way for girls to describe monthly cycles without making guy friends feel awkward.

'Why are you so squinky Jennifer?'
'Sorry, I'm saving the world at the moment.'

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crabbage

1) A genteic mutation between a crab and a cabbage, creating an evil mutant vegetable with legs, claws and eyes.
2) A crab salad.

1. 'Run for your lives! Godzilla is fighting a crabbage!'
2. 'Hmm, I think I shall go to Marks and Sparks and buy some crabbage.'

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