vacuum-packed cows

A vacuum-packed cow can be found in most fields in Britain throughout autumn and winter. Many believe that the large cylinder black bags are full of hay, but that is an urban legend. Inside these mysterious bags are on average three vacuum-packed cows. These cows have been dehydrated and vacuum packed in order to keep them safe until spring. If you had ever wondered why there were a lot less cows in the fields in winter, you now know. Obviously not all cows are vacuum-packed, as it is still a new technology, and can be dangerous to cows, or require them to have months of therapy afterwards.

Farmer Brown started vacuum-packing his cows around October, so they could get used to their vacuumed environment.

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fartoholic

Someone who is addicted to their own fart smell, and so farts as often as possible.

'Stan, you're a real fartoholic'
'So?'
'You stink.'

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lollikers

What lol ACTUALLY stands for.

Jenny: I love you, Stan.
Stan: Lollikers!

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Splud

A wet spud. Useful for throwing.

A threw a splud at Stan's head yesterday, it squelched.'

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turd monkey

1) A phrase which is used to express disgust towards a person. Not to be mistaken with monkey turd. A turd monkey is generally someone who annoys or disgusts you, but can be used on anyone who generally pisses you off.
2) A statue of a monkey made out of a turd.

1) "You complete and utter turd monkey."
2) "That's a good turd monkey there, Stan."

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windfart

1)A fart that could be lit by a lighter help over a metre away.
2)A pre-Pimp My Ride style car.

1) 'Holy moly, watch the windfart fly!'
2) 'Your windfart just ain't pimpin' man!'

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FCUKIP

French Connection United Kingdom Independance Party. I completely non-rascist group who believe in the ethnic cleansing of anyone not from white British surburbia. How fun.

'I'm voting FCUKIP'
'I'm punching you in the head for being such a moron!'

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