Peter-perfect

Derogatory term to describe some-one who believes he is perfect in all ways.

Your sisters'new boy-frend is a right Peter-perfect Nigel.

army-barmy

Army-barmy is when a squaddie is so obsessed and in love with the army and military things in general that his entire life revolves around being cammed up,ops,and generally ready to mangle,strangle,stab,shoot or shag anything or anyone, with, and possibly without, a pulse.Not just being content to keep these awe-inspiring facts to himself he will persist in droning on for hours and hours about his impressive knowledge of the martial art thus boring shitless his family,friends and neighbours.The ROYAL MARINES and the PARA-REG are famous for this affliction.

My brother became army-barmy after joining the guards,his wife once told me (after we'd being shagging one day)that even on their honey-moon he'd insist on inspecting her feet for blisters before bed and in the morning he'd wake her up with bucket of cold water and an enthousiastic "Hands off cocks, on socks!"

9👍 3👎

convoy-cock

Convoy-cock. Military term describing the hard-on you often get when you're in the back of an army lorry (or bus) rumbling down roads on your way to some military activity.

Jones, wipe that silly smile off your face!
Can't sir
Why not?
Convoy-cock sir
Oh, fair one.

59👍 21👎

cammed up

Once dressed in ones'cabbage-kit one must now cam up. Camming up is the the fiendish art of making ones self invisible to the naked eye of a would-be enemy.
This is what you do.
Smear ones face with something brown,black or green often sold in tubes and tins and found in any good hardware shop. Next, adorn ones self with bits of grass,twigs,sack-cloth and twine thus becoming a sort of dull coloured christmas tree without the fairy lights.You are now completly invisible to the naked eyes of even the wiliest Taliban and can go about many cunning military tasks without the least hassle from the curlie-wurlies you are about to liquidate.

Private Jones, why are you cammed up?
Oooh sir, you were'nt supposed to see me,you've spoilt everything!!
Sorry Jones I don't want to be a kill-joy but it is nearly bed-time and you have'nt even touched your hot milk....or your ginger-nuts!

5👍 7👎

ruffy-tuffy

A "ruffy-tuffy" is a military person extremely rough and tough(hence the term).These ruffy-tuffies can crush grapes and rip tissue-paper with their bare fingers, and usually end up as bouncers in mother-care at the end of their army careers.

My brothers in the army and every week-end he bores me shit-less with all that ruffy-tuffy crap.Its sad I think hes' become army-barmy.

6👍 2👎

clop

Cigarette. French slang.

"Clop?" "No I don't smoke thanks."

54👍 151👎

shoof

to look at,watch,survey

"Could you shoof the baby while I roll a spliff love?"

31👍 13👎