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Random
When two or more men get together and figure shit out. Women not required or desired.
Mike: Hey Steve! Did you figure out that problem with your car?
Steve: No. I was going to call you and Matt to come over for a brawnstorming session to get this thing fixed.
2👍 1👎
A person that when they look into the mirror they know that they have found the perfect life partner.
When Pam figured out that Jack was a mirrorsexual, she dumped him for a guy that could carry on a real relationship with another person.
14👍 3👎
A person that cuts into a long line and demands attention NOW, while you've been patiently waiting for over an hour.
Slang for "Because I'm Fucking Special".
That rude guy that just cut into line at the checkout must be Mr. BIFS.
2👍 9👎
When two people with the same name on FaceBook "friend" each other then swap profile pictures.
Each "friend" assumes the identity of the other, and updates their home pages as if they were the other person, creating a quantum entanglement of their separate identities.
Hey! I found another guy with my name on FaceBook. For April Fools Day, we did a FaceOff and confused everyone! It was great!
Somehow, he ended up with a date with my sister.
7👍 15👎
When a heterosexual woman divorces her gay husband.
After 30 years of unknowingly acting as Bruce's beard, Cindy finally divorced him after he got caught red-handed at the gay bar.
Bruce: I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was gay when we got married. Will you stay married to me and pretend that we have sex?
Cindy: I think it's time you came out of the closet - I'm shaving the beard!
That irresistible dessert that's out on the Christmas buffet table, that you can't stop eating. Often 50% sugar, 50% grease, these spiked sugary concoctions create a fast addiction.
Hey Bob, you look like shit! What happened?
Dude, Mike made this Christmas Crack concoction and I ate 3 pounds of it! I'm still coming down off my sugar buzz.
19👍 4👎