Emily

A bloody thick bastard who has the chromosome count of a pebble. Genuinely could not count to 279 if they tried. A nice person but has 0 sense of humour, very likely to enjoy cringe and dad jokes, especially. Usually brunette but sometimes blonde and it's very rare they're sexy, but if you find a sexy one it's usually a keeper. Very trustworthy, as long as they remember to use their minimal brain and mental capacity, if not, your secrets or good up are probably going to be leaked.

James: Oh my god, look at that emily!
Steven: Yeah, she's great to laugh at.

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Poo

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