Psychophant

Someone with a penchant for murder, but brown noses and builds up his victims' self-esteem prior to dispatching them.

"The victim lay in a pool of blood, but had apparently died with his ego fully intact. Detective Massimo determined was the work of a psychophant."

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Procrasturbator

A person who puts off pleasuring themselves.

She had a vampire movie to watch, and lots of scented candles; however, her inner procrasturbator told her to wait until supper was over.

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Flabbygasted

A state of astonishment, particularly among the overweight and obese.

1. Oprah was utterly flabbygasted when her husband timidly told her she had "put on a few".
2. When Britney got on the scales after a night of cheesecake and prawns, she was well and truly flabbygasted.