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Random
Mike: Yo Stonathan, my wife was pegging me last night and she pulled on my nuts and I burst like a fire hydrant.
Stoney: Dude, next time have her massage your Scruntul and youâll erupt like Kilimanjaro.
Hereâs the situation. You have this chick over and you about to eat some flounder. As she becomes moist, you then realize she has SOS (Stanky Oozing Syndrome). You can either tell her your stomach hurts and fish will just irritate it, or you can man up and say you gotta drop a massive dookster and will be right back. You proceed to go to the bathroom and eat a dead bat that youâve been storing for a situation like this. You will instantly contract COVID-19 and lose all smell and taste. Now get back out there and enjoy a nice filet-o-fish.
T-Bone: Yo broski, whatâs on the menu tonight?
Big Queasy: Well I was gonna eat some salmon with my wife, but the fish I been having lately just donât taste right..
T-Bone: Hmmm.. sounds like a case of SOS (Stanky Oozing Syndrome). Iâll tell you what if you need any dead bats, just go to Shitty Noodle Factory. My boy Ching Ming Wang can hook you up with some fresh COVID-19 in no time. Then that âsalmonâ will just taste like nothing.
Big Queasy: Thanks T-Bone. I knew there was a reason we were friends. I will hit up the SNF for dinner tonight. I hear they have great dinner specials.
Step 1 (The Apootizer): This is the beginning of a shitty ride. This will be a light loosening of the spinky, and possibly even a log or two may drop. However you are simply preparing for the main course so remain pootient.
Step 2 (The main Poo-latter): Logs will be droppinâ, spinkies will be poppinâ. Things could get messy real quick. You might even want to invest in a deeper toilet bowl to avoid splash damage.
Step 3 (Dessert Deuces): Now that the main Poo-latter is over, its time to finish it off with a nice Crème Poolée. These logs will be nice and creamy, with a layer of crusty caramel glazed on top.
Bon appootit.
TyrantulaSaurus Rex: Yo Buhl watchu doin for the Super Bowl?
Big Cheesy: Iâm taking a nice three-course-dump. In other words, Iâm taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.
TyrantulaSaurus Rex: Sweet so youâre telling me the New England Pootriots arenât in it this year?
Big Cheesy: Thatâs right. Iâm taking them with me too. Should be very pooleasant.
A wall that bears the weight of a young boyâs cum loads. After too many years of pumping jizz into the crevices of the wall, the wall may collapse if it bears too many cream pies.
Big Easy: Dude I love pumping iron. Shit really gets me going. Itâs like cumming. I love cumming all over the place.
Tyrant: Broski, you and my buddy should be friends then. He used to cum all over his load-bearing wall at home. It was basically a Catacumb in his room.
Big Easy: Looks like I found a new best friend.
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Online streaming service where dudes specifically show off their big bushes of pubes. The bigger the bush, the more views there typically are. Weekly awards are also given out for things like biggest bush, curliest bush and most unusual bush.
Tyrant: Dude I was watching game of thrones the other night. All they dude is bone.
The Boss: Bro, if youâre sick of watching all the pounding, go on PubeTube. The bushes and hedges on that site are crazy and there are some interesting videos on how to even do some landscaping.
Tyrant: Dude Iâll have to check that out in my spare time!
Your hoe is pissed about her rear end shitsplosion you caused, so she kicked you outta the house. So youâre drivinâ in yo car and you gotta rip a nasty one. Youâre stuck in traffic so you go to squeeze out some gas. You put your windows down and the smell is so potent that the driver behind you becomes incapacitated and rear ends you. Surprise surprise, out comes poo. Karma is a smelly SOB.
Ty: Yo Bro you finna finish your story bout the splosion you caused?
Biggy: Yea Bro, so my wife kicked me outta the house and I went on a drive to blow off some steam. The Taco Bell I had last week finally hit my b-hole, so I went to rip some air and it smelled horrible. Went to put my windows down cuz I couldnât breathe and it must have flown right into the nostrils of the buhl behind me. Dude ended up rear ending me (with his car) and I was so surprised, a Rear End Shitsplosion: Part 2 took place. Guess karma got the best of me.
Ty: I envy your life.
When you are taking a shower and vigorously blow your nose between your hands, the boogers fly out of your nose at breakneck speed into your man bush. Introducing... the creation of lè booger bush.
Big Easy: Dude, do you ever have to blow your nose so bad that you shart?
Tyrantula: Even worse man. I blow my nose so hard in the shower that my boogies get caught in my Amazon forest and I canât find them. Now I got a friggen booger bush!
Big Easy: I just bushted a nut.