slut

A cock (bird) wakes up and shouts: "Cock-a-doodle-do!"

A slut wakes up and shouts "Any-cock-will-do!"

Slut said to me: "The guy I went with last night insisted on caning my backside before he had sex with me. It reminded me of being sent to the headmaster's office back at school. The only difference was the headmaster never bothered with the caning bit".

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white van man

A threat to road safety, these kinds of so-called drivers spend their time wolf-whistling at women, making stupid gestures with their hands at passers-by and generally carrying on as though they're on the dodgems. They can be found in vans of any colour, or other vehicles such as lorries, but the white van seems to have become traditional with people whose IQs are lower than their shoe size. They are often fat and reckon they're well'ard and'll give yer a slap, yer know wot I mean, mate?

A short guide to white van man hand signals.
Middle finger = "This is the number of my IQ"
Hand-cranking gesture = "This is what I do often because I can't pull a bird on account of too many of them having a brain".
Honking their horn = "I'm a complete inadequate and my vehicle's an altermnative to a dick".

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snout

1: An animal's nose. Also used as an insult for someone with a big nose, or to describe a greedy businessman (eg: snout in the trough).
2: A cigarette (other slang terms for this include fag, cancer stick and coffin nail).
3: A police informant. The term presumably derives from the informant 'sniffing out villains'. Other slang terms for a police informant include grass, stool-pigeon and copper's nark.

"Getting snout in jail is a nightmare if you used to be a police snout".

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post box

A slit you put things into and they disappear never to be seen again.

I posted a cheque a few weeks ago, put it in the post box, and no-one knows where it is now.

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cheap

1: Not very expensive. The word cheap, however, is best avoided when selling cut-price items or bargains. Nobody likes to be thought of as 'cheap'.
2: A girl who is generous with her favours, to put it politely.
3: Lacking in imagination. Eg: 'cheap' ways of getting you to lose lives in a video game.
4: Someone who spends their life not paying their way. (eg: cheapskate).

The special effects in that film were really cheap. Looked like they'd put a collection bottle on a pub bar and paid for the effects out of the procedings.

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