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Bogey

Bogey or bogie has several meanings including:
A: Bodily mucus in the nostrils.
B: A golf score.
C: Nickname for American actor Humphrey Bogart.
D: Chassis or framework holding the wheels of a train.

"I'm a great fan of locomotives. Show me a bogey and I'm in paradise".

by Stormsworder April 6, 2009

17πŸ‘ 16πŸ‘Ž


prince charles

Prince Charles is a man who preeches about global warming and the environment, despite owning something like 40 cars. He rants on about animal cruelty and animal rights, despite going hunting and shooting. Then he starts wondering why no-one takes him seriously. He believes in a Britain which doesn't exist and never did exist, except in fairy-tales, in which the peasants all love their royal rulers. He has more or less finished off any remaining respect or love anybody in Britain had for the royal family.

Oh no, there's Prince Charles on the TV ranting on about something. Let's turn over to the 'Best of the Test-card'. That should be far more entertaining.

by Stormsworder August 16, 2006

488πŸ‘ 767πŸ‘Ž


crash bandicoot

Star of many video games, Crash Bandicoot was one of the victims of the power-mad Dr Neo Cortex, who tried to cause rapid evolution in animals in order to turn them into his army of heavies. Crash, together with his sister Coco Bandicoot and their friend Crunch Bandicoot, are now dedicated to putting a spoke in every wheel of evil plotting Cortex dreams up. The best games in Crash's history, in my view, are 'Cortex Strikes Back' and 'Twinsanity'. In the latter, Crash was forced to team up with Cortex in order to foil the plans of two power-mad birds (who were former pets of Cortex).

Cortex: I'll destroy you and take over this world.

Crash Bandicoot: Uh....

Cortex: I shall be the supreme being of the universe!

Crash: Uh....

Cortex: You've a real way with words, do you know that?!

by Stormsworder August 14, 2006

135πŸ‘ 33πŸ‘Ž


brazilian wandering spider

Brazilian wandering spider is the name used to describe any spider of the genus phoneutria. There are five in total, and they are large hairy spindly-looking spiders with leg-spans which can reach up to 5 inches or more. Two pairs of their eight eyes are large, and they do not make webs, instead go hunting for prey. This can cause problems, as they have the most active venom of any living spiders. One of their number, the Brazilian Huntsman, is thought to be the most venomous spider in the world. Brazilian wandering spiders are certainly dangerous, bite more people than any other spiders. They are fast-moving, their legs are strong and spiny and they have destinctive red jaws which they display when angered. These spiders are quite capable of jumping onto a broom used to fend them off, can also leap out of banana bunches carried over the shoulder and bite whoever is carrying the fruit. One species, the Brazilian Armed Spider, is quite amazingly aggressive and has the largest venom glands of any spider. Since the introduction of anti-toxins, there have been few recorded fatalities, and finding one of these spiders in imported fruit is unlikely what with modern safety precautions. the name Brazilian wandering spider is actually inaccurate, as these spiders are found all over South America.

It's worth pointing out that a Brazilian wandering spider is not a tarantula. They're not even in the same family group. Tarantulas are harmless to humans, are mostly ambush killers who wait for prey to come to them. Brazilian wandering spiders are active hunters. Brazilian wandering spiders and tarantulas do have one thing in common, however. They don't eat bananas. I'm quite amazed people think this is the case.

by Stormsworder August 17, 2006

82πŸ‘ 20πŸ‘Ž


Jar Jar Binks

An attempt to create a 'comic relief' character which backfired badly, turning the Star Wars film Phantom Menace into little more than a cross between a farce and a special-effects laden episode of Love Thy Neighbour. Binks is an alien who, for reasons I'm sure won't be apparent to anyone but all-seeing higher beings, talks like a dated black stereotype. Ah, but C3P0 and R2-D2 were comical characters, the fanboys point out. Yes, but they actually served some function in A New Hope, and if they're comic characters then why do we need yet another 'comic' character.

Jar Jar Binks, just one of the many things wrong with a film with was nothing really more than one long advert for toys, video games, happy meals and various other tat. But it's still worth mentioning that Jar Jar Binks is a shit creation and a total wanker.

by Stormsworder July 5, 2007

148πŸ‘ 56πŸ‘Ž


scum

A sub-species which is becoming all too common in the UK thanks to the dumbing down of the education system and the fact that the police spend their time either filling in paperwork or going after motorists. Examples of scum can be found everywhere, from the highest to the lowest parts of society. Politicians, big businessmen and the like are more corrupt and self-serving than ever. In the town where I live, psychiatrists have walked away from causing serious head injuries and from telling their patients they're possessed by ghosts. Meanwhile, it is dangerous to go out onto the streets after dark in many towns or cities. This is mainly due to brain-dead head-bangers who patrol the streets looking for prey, doing in gangs or or in pairs what they wouldn't have the guts to do on their own. Most people grow out of schoolboy-type behaviour, but there is a certain breed who seem unable to do so. They remain as yobs well into late middle-age and beyond. Indeed, I was minding my own business when someone started hooting their car-horn at me. When I gave them the finger, they stopped their car (at a crossroad, causing a hold-up). I was then threatened by some fat old git in dungarees. When I failed to be scared by his threat, he threatened me again but this time added an 'f-word', as though that made him sound scarier or more grown-up. I still failed to be scared, and he gave up and went on his way. People like this deserve only pity. And that's another thing. Scum of all ages seem to think swearing is both grown-up and the height of comedy. Their world-beaters are all over public toilet walls, galvanised-metal lamp posts and the like. They also shout things from cars as they drive by, big brave men that they are. Their girlfriends are usually brainless bimbos who think crime is glamorous and are turned on by thuggish behaviour.

New Labour are going to start coming down hard on scum. They're going to get women in black leather to come to parliament and give all the NL MPs a good spanking.

by Stormsworder October 25, 2006

136πŸ‘ 87πŸ‘Ž


kryten

An android from the sci-fi/comedy series Red Dwarf, Kryten looks like a human wearing metallic clothes, but has a cube-like, geometric head. He became a regular in Series 3, played by Robert Llewellyn, but was actually first seen in an episode of Series 2 in which the Red Dwarf crew find him on a crashed spacecraft. He has been programmed to look after the crew of the marooned craft, but didn't realise they had been dead for many years. Played by Dave Ross, his original character was based on the butler in 'The Admirable Crichton'. Taken back to Red Dwarf, he was persuaded to rebel against Rimmer's task-master treatment and went joy-riding on Lister's space bike. In the Series 3 prologue (freeze-frame the tape/DVD to read it) it was revealed he had crashed, and that Lister had put him back together but had been unable to restore his original personality. Since then Lister has fought a losing battle trying to encourage Kryten to break his programming (by developing emotions, being able to lie etc). It has been revealed that Kryten can change heads, can detach his hand and send it to bring help, and can remove his eyes (useful for when communicating with human-hating psychotic androids).

Kryten: What a smeeee. What a smeeeee. What a smeeeeeee heeeeeeeee....

by Stormsworder October 18, 2006

26πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž