gluten

This little guy is found in wheat, rye, and barley. People with celiac cannot consume it because their intestine for some sickening reason things gluten is evil and rejects it. This is a sad thing, because a gluten-free diet in America is a very, very depressing thing.

While your friends eat oreos, cake, and other hallmarks of the wondrous American diet, you must crunch dry rice cakes and order salads without croutons or most dresses.

Gluten is basically evil. It punches the villi of a celiac's gut and it's not nice. Gluten is evil.

I ate gluten from that yummy oreo and now I am puking.

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