Company Dumpty

To take a shit while at work, or on "company" time.

Derived from the more commonly known phrase "humpty dumpty".

Hey where have you been? You're late for our 10 o'clock meeting.

Sorry man, I ate a massive curry last night so I just had to take a Company Dumpty.

Willy Wonkered

Being completely legless as a result of too much alcohol consumption (preferably whilst dressed as Willy Wonker).

Man, did you see Gareth last night at the party? He was Willy Wonkered!