jacking the beanstalk

having a long, slow wank

'He's been in there for hours Cuthbert, i reckon he's jacking the beanstalk again!'

50👍 2👎

Shdoink

to slap someone in the face with your fallous.

that bitch was playing up so i shdoinked her!

2👍 1👎

doing my bit for the child effort

wanking into a pot at a sperm clinic in order to make test tube babies.

'Been down the sperm clinic again Bert?'
'Just doing my bit for the child effort Roland.'

4👍 4👎