Random
Source Code
Random
A creature, scientifically referred to by academic English-speaking Earthlings as Homo sapiens sapiens, related most closely to a creature called a chimpanzee, which Earthlings generally use to entertain themselves at places called zoos, where the chimpanzees are frequently known to go on rampages due to abuse by Earthlings and eat the faces off Earthlings; this Homo sapiens sapiens is filled with a self-aggrandizing sense of its own intelligence, which is weak even by galactic standards, let alone cosmic standards. As visitors from the outer reaches of the cosmos, it is our duty to study these morons and see if we can make them treat the Earth better, so that our plans to eventually wipe them out and re-colonize the Earth with our smarter pets and animals will not be hindered by Earthling-caused global warming and climate change
That Earthling is trying to brush his teeth with a paintbrush; he must be one of their professors.
Earthlings are so stupid, Gipponik4, I don't know how I'll be able to tolerate not incinerating them all before it's time.
Be content with probing their Midwestern farmers, Jeppid6.
humanoid alien monkey relative naked ape climate-change denier
18π 16π
An accidental fecal discharge caused by overexcitement due to being sexually touched by a female who is way out of one's league, as when the "Peanuts" character Charlie Brown has the football taken away from him by Lucy Van Pelt just as he is about to kick it; a mere fart or mild shart does not count as a "charlie brown" due to the fact that one might easily recover sexual activity with aforementioned hot chick, whereas a full dump is almost certainly a fashion-model fuck deal-breaker
Dude ... don't tell anyone about this ... but I had a date with you-know-who last night. Yeah, I know. Fantastic, huh? Fuck you, dude! That pot roast your mother made us totally made me charlie brown it! Stop laughing, asshole! It's not funny!
premature post-sex BM stinky date-breaker bowel cock-blocker intestinal disfortitude brown-bagging it steaming goodnighter
13π 12π
(noun) Meaningless expletive similar to "rat's ass" or "ratfuck," only more emphatic, a monkeyfuck being a step up from not giving a rat's ass or not giving a monkeyfuck.
I told him that I didn't give a rat's ass if he didn't like my fucking his girlfriend and he said he didn't give a monkeyfuck if I didn't like the beating he was gonna give me. Anyway, that's why I'm in the hospital. The doctors here don't give a monkeyfuck ... I almost never see one ... and my catheter bag is overflowing and is starting to turn bloody.
ratfuck don't give a fuck don't give a rat's ass don't give a ratfuck fuck-a-doodle-doo
13π 17π
1.) Defending, through acts of aggressive trolling, the internet websites and facebook pages where an inordinately large number of conspiracy theorists and other wackos make comments like, "U suck an yor sight is a peace of shit and ur mothas a cunt." Usually the act of bridge-guarding requires the talents of a persistent and eloquent troll who has the ability to spell correctly, thus intimidating his subject victims merely by the fact that said subject victims have an inferiority complex due to their lack of education and their usually abysmal intellectual shortcomings. A troll who engages in bridge-guarding must be merciless but also must recognize when one of his subject victims may be about to commit suicide or harm others -- at which time the ethical bridge-guard will link to a national suicide hotline phone number and a website advocating for the treatment of mental health problems. 2.) the act of preventing a loved one's boyfriend from taking the loved one out for a night of binge drinking for the purpose of committing date rape, usually accomplished by punching the potential assailant as hard as possible in his groin and telling him, "When she comes home, if she's not sober and pleased with your gentlemanly conduct, I'm going to kill you, cut your head off, and drop you off a bridge and into a river." (An almost universally successful technique).
Asshole #1: Dude, I totally got bridge-guarded by her father last night!
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking
A law in the United States, since 1984; law enforcement authorities are allowed to confiscate cash money they have reason to believe has not been legitimately obtained, and even if no charges are filed against the person whose cash is confiscated the owner must go to court to prove legitimate ownership of the confiscated cash; also known as legal robbery, this confiscated cash often goes towards funding helicopters for rural sheriff's departments and assault vehicles for Podunk towns that have no real use for them
Why are you taking my money, officer ... I was saving up to buy a motorboat with it .... What do you mean, I seem suspicious? What the fuck is seizure-and-forfeiture?
legal robbery civilian asset dispersion possession of cash suspicious money-holder guilty until proven innocent drug-war funding
(From the combination of the words "cop" and "law") a noun that refers to the illegal and unethical special privileges afforded to police officers and other authorities and officials, who are not obligated as often as civilians to follow official laws and not obligated to suffer the same consequences or punishments by actual laws compared to civilians; a type of unofficial double standard that is almost never publicly acknowledged by officials, authorities, or police officers but with which most of the public is all too familiar; often, if not always, leads to rampant corruption of authorities
"The cop got arrested for malfeasance."
"For what malfeasance?"
"The media didn't say. There's something called an 'Officer's Bill of Rights' that protects cops and other officials from the media publishing details of the charges against them, even after arrest. It's just coplaw, ya know."
"Oh, coplaw. Why didn't you just say that?"
"I found out later the cop got arrested for Schedule II drug violations while on duty, but that was after I kept pestering the media for more information."
"Coplaw sucks so much."
double standard innocence by official position Too Cop to Arrest scofflaw non-felony felony by cop preferential justice media-protected police
A snob who trolls facebook comments for any reference to Wikipedia as a source, always to denounce any fact, however true it might be, merely because it has been sourced to Wikipedia, ignoring the fact that the supercomputer Watson, which cannot be beaten by humans on the television show "Jeopardy," uses Wikipedia, as well as other internet resources, to destroy its human challengers
I commented to the global warming theory-denying Ph.D. that he probably still thought that the Earth is round, and he said I must've read about global warming on Wikipedia, and when I called him a WikiSnob, he called me an idiot and blocked me. flat-earther Galileo-guard de-evolutionary creationist doctorate of cryptometeorological denialism academic Exxon whore