pixar syndrome

when someone thinks an animal or insect has a personality and is cute, adorable, and cuddley... no matter what the circumstances.

person 1: "awww! look at that cute tiger! He wont hurt me, hes soooo cute!!!"
person2: "uh huh... sounds like pixar syndrome to me"

31👍 19👎

weekend

The end of the work week, most commonly Friday (immediately after work) until Sunday night. Sunday night is the end of the weekend because you have to attempt to fall asleep feeling very depressed, due to another work week ahead.

As the highly anticipated weekend approaches, work efficiency declines. By Friday afternoon, the only work you are doing is planning on which drugs, alcohol, or other activities you will be doing immediately after work.
Most weekends are usually spent completely high on sex, drugs, and alcohol, in order to forget about your personal problems and the past 5 days of hell at work. By the time you come down off your drugs, or finish your activities, the weekend is over and you are left feeling depressed and alone on a Sunday night.

TZ: Man, I haven’t done a thing all day. All I can think about is this upcoming weekend!
Random Lame Coworker: Dude, its 9:15 Monday morning.. You’ve got a long way to go!

301👍 45👎

Headquarters

Party Central. Where everyone hangs out and everything happens. If you want to get crazy but aren't sure where to go, come to headquarters.

Yo, come to Headquarters.. Its Milky White Binger Time!!

10👍 11👎

Mad Cow Disease

An Alcoholic Shot containing half Hennessy, and half Worcestershire Sauce (preferably Lea & Perrins.)

After you shoot it, your throat feels like it's going to be really harsh, but it doesn't. It nicely goes away, leaving you craving more mad cow disease.

Yo, grab the lea & perrins and the Henne, I wanna do a shot of mad cow disease!

41👍 22👎

chocolate hostages

Poo thats just dying to get out.

I know we only have 10 minutes to get there, but I have to release these chocolate hostages!

82👍 13👎

Atomic Irish Car Bomb

An Atomic Irish Car Bomb is exactly like a regular Irish Car Bomb, except you use much larger glasses. The primary glass, which is usually a regular 12-ounce pint glass, is replaced with a much larger/oversized beer mug (usually 30+ ounces in size). The secondary glass, which is usually a 1 ounce shot glass, is replaced with a regular 12-ounce pint glass.


How to do it:
Fill the 12 ounce pint glass up halfway with Jameson Irish Whiskey, and the rest of the way up with Bailey's Irish Cream (Yes, that’s 6 shots of each.. 12 shots all together). Then, fill the large beer mug halfway up with Guinness (this should usually be about 15 - 20 ounces).

Submerge the pint glass halfway down in the giant glass of Guinness, take a deep breath, drop it in, and immediately chug like you've never chugged before. When you are finished, slam the giant glass down and take another deep breath. You stomach will feel like you just ate an entire thanksgiving dinner, and you should be extremely drunk within 15 minutes.

Joel: "While we're here, want to pickup a bottle of Jameson?"
TZ: "Yes! Actually, make that 2 bottles of Jameson, and 2 bottles of Baileys. I want to do a few Atomic Irish Car Bomb's tonight!"

25👍 10👎

brown snarf

When your spraying hot diarrhea in someones mouth and they laugh, causing it to come out of their nose.

Dude, whats up with your mom? She keeps begging me to give her a brown snarf.

14👍 6👎