Ashford

Also known to the residents by its alternate names "Gashford" and "Trashford" due to the large amount of single mothers, is a relatively large town located in the Kent in the South-East of England where everyone is so damn miserable their soulless eyes can pierce sheet steel.

It is home to Stanhope, the town's obligatory zoo of pikeys that recently had a regeneration which was the equivalent of polishing a turd. The buses often get infested with old people in the mornings and the ghurkas live up to their stereotype by constantly smelling of curry. The gypsies leave litter wherever they go and it became such a problem that the places they frequented had trenches dug or boulders placed to stop them from using them.

Main attractions include but are not limited to:
*A high street which features 5 barber shops, 5 pubs, a titty bar, 4 discount stores and 3 card shops, while the rest of them are primarily restaurants; fast food or otherwise.
*A bowling alley
*A decomissioned tank used as a statue
*A Designer Outlet shaped like a vagina; popular tourist destination and the primary cause of sidewalk rage
*Frequent car crashes coming out of ASDA
*A skate park for horny teenagers and young adults to pick up horny teenagers
*An out of the way Cineworld
*Prams and screaming children everywhere
*And an international train station so you can escape the monumental dullness of it all for the day which is often left unattended after 6pm; free train rides if you don't get caught.

Guy 1: 'Ey lad you wanna go to Ashford?
Guy 2: Sure, I'm in the mood to be bored and depressed to the point I want to commit suicide today.

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