Kyle DMC

A member of the Columbus based Desperate Measures Crew. Born in 1986, the Columbus native who plays in hardcore/metal bands and books shows has received his legendary shitbag status from his well known "cock" and "p.o.s." tattoos, single handedly hospitalizing hundreds of frat dudes, robbing armed robbers, setting people on fire, impregnating the turds of scene girls worldwide, out-eating all men who challenge him, banging girls in club bathrooms, and his unmatched rage. There is no man alive that has kept it this real since chuck norris. From the years of touring with bands to the periods of heavy drug usage to the hookers in Tijuana and Vegas and his willingness to do ANYTHING for money, at 21 years old has a superb reputation on this planet earth.

"Dude... Ben.... Kyle DMC chugged half a bottle malt vinegar for 20 euros today. Not even american dollars.... Euros! He puked everywhere! He's a moron! Dude i even heard that this one time he shit himself after eating 13 tacos when he was out with Ringworm. I think if every major city had a "Kyle DMC" This world would be ruined."

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DMC

DESPERATE MEASURES CREW. Columbus, Ohio's notorious gang composed of hardcore kids, graffiti artists, tattoo artists, bikers, and old dudes who spend the majority of their time on the web and or eating unhealthy fast food. As a whole they eat and sleep and keep faggots who flat iron their heads away from the scene. They are known for their devilish good looks and face tattoos. GET BITCH SLAPPED!

"Hey Sarah! i just totally saw Kyle DMC at the mall. He said hi to me! Those DMC boys are soooooo hot.... and tough to! I sure am glad that I am friends with them so they don't set me on fire at the next show!"

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