Jesus fucked a monkey!

Phrase used when a pub door swings back and nearly dislodges the pyramid of glasses being carried back to table, or when a twat cyclist speeds through a red light at a pedestrian crossing and almost kills you, or practically anytime 'fuckin hell', 'you fuckin twat', or 'shiiiiiiit' simply doesn't cut the mustard.
Used sparingly, it's effective, offensive and infectious.

Jesus fucked a monkey!, watch out twat.

Mong Covid

The odd sense of not being 'right' you have, for a few days after your Oxford Astra-Zeneca jab

Had the jab on Saturday. Felt rough and a bit vague for a few days. I think I had Mong Covid.