Rick

Ricks are a rare sub-species of homo sapiens that can usually be found in and around Christian communities. They claim not to be religious, but secretly still attend church on sunday with their parents. The species has evolved to grow incredibly large sonar-sensitive ears, which filter out the bullshit of any conversation they find themselves in. This makes Ricks valuable friends which can give excellent advice. Attempts by scientist to study a Rick and their unique ability have consistently failed as Ricks tend to grow a beard so large they are mistaken for very big bushes of pubic hair.

Despite claiming to do a real ‘study’ Ricks tend to choose the easy way out and choose a social study, this is to blame on their general fear of anything useful like math or physics. Still, Ricks excel in their field of expertise which leaves them with (too) much free time. This free time they use to pursue their favourite hobby of courting women. If sufficiently proficient in this hobby Ricks will never in their entire life be single. Despite this they never reach fourth base. This lack of pro-creation has made Ricks second on WWF’s endangered species list. If you ever are able to capture one it is of paramount importance to the global biodiversity to nurse and care for it as one of your best friends.

Dylan: "Why is there so much pubic hair on your couch?"
Daniel:"Oh no, that's my roommate Rick"

"I really need some good advice, do you know a Rick?"