Scorpioning

Doing the Crab while someone performs oral sex on you.

My girlfriend tried Scorpioning with me and it just doesn't work as well as when I do it to her.

wankend

a weekend spent alone, the spare time is used primarily to masturbate.

Fellow: What are you doing this weekend.

Fellow 2: I've got to look after my mum, she's ill.

Fellow: having another wankend.

Fellow 2: i came out last week.